Saturday, June 12, 2010

Naughty Thoughts are Good Thoughts...


 If necessity is the mother of invention, then...Frustration is the father of masturbation!
• Always marry a woman with small palms. It makes your dick look bigger!

• I believe in safe sex...I've got a handrail around my bed.

• Life without Friends is like Boobs without Nipples... POINTLESS !

• F**k a girl & she'll love you... Love a girl & she'll f**k you!

• All those who proclaim that dog is man's best friend, have evidently not played with a friendly pussy.

• The irony of a blow job is: Even if you have her at your feet, she's got you by the balls!!!

* What is the definition of a healthy virgin?
One who has never been Bed RIDDEN !

* While preparing her RESUME a young Lady wrote:
Special qualification: I am Flexible enough to Perform in all Positions.

* Define contraceptive pill?
It’s the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth to avoid pregnancy.

* What do politicians & porn stars have in common?
They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera!

* Importance of UNITY explained at it's best:
One Leg of a woman tells the other: UNITED we are saved, divided we are *ucked.

* Same Sex Marriage: What's the big deal in same sex marriages?

 I've been married to the same woman for 25 years and had the same old sex all that time.

* Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both are pregnant!
Tragedy: When you are not responsible for both!

* Son: Teacher says, `Father is the pillar of the family` then what`s mom?
Dad: She makes the pillar stiff, strong and worthwhile to raise a family.

Viagra now available in powder to put in tea, does nothing for erections but stops your biscuit from going soft.

* Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of the society; but always remember who laid them!

* An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card

* Boss to a lady during interview: What's the difference between Paperclip and Screw?
Lady: I don't know, I have never been paper clipped...

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