Sunday, April 25, 2010
Penis Wants A Raise
3:34 AM | 
Posted by
Kanika Gupta
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labour
2. I work in great depths
3. I have to go in head first
4. I do not get days off, weekends or public holidays
5. I work in a damp environment
6. I work in high temperatures
7. My work exposes me to contagious diseases
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for a raise
based on the following criteria:
1. You never work 8 hours straight
2. You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4. You do not stay in your workstation area, often you visit
other areas
5. You take many non-scheduled breaks
6. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order for you to begin your work
7. You leave your workstation messy after your shift
8. You don't always observe OSHA measures, such as wearing the correct protective outfits
9. You don't wait till pension before retiring
10. You don't like to work double shifts
11. You have been observed entering and leaving the work place
carrying two suspicious bags
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